The Republican Convention

I'd been telling friends for two weeks that I'd planned to watch the GOP convention--as much as I could take anyway--once it started. They all thought I was nuts. But in years past, especially after cutting my IQ in half for the night with loco weed, it had proved to be the highlight of the summer TV season.


Passed out in San Marcos on the 4th 1987

I'm sure it's not just because I don't smoke dope anymore (antidepressants, sadly, seem to have rendered it ineffective and sleep-inducing), but last night's GOP convention was like watching Dennis Hastert fielding sex questions on C-SPAN. I saw the first 15 minutes of John McCain's very carefully crafted speech, looking for evidence of what my dad would call "damning with faint praise"; and there seemed to be plenty of it. He definitely seemed to hesitate every time he tossed a compliment Bush's way. And I'm sure he pissed off every delegate there when he talked about his Democratic friends in the Senate--I half expected to see a Twinkie explode on his face. It was pretty strange over all. His stone fox of a wife Cindy was in the VIP section looking mighty hot; but she was seated with the "undead", and it must have been painful for her.

Shots of the delegates on the floor were really disappointing. Someone must have bribed the cameramen not to linger on the real lunatics in the assembly, though there were some choice moments: one of a nine year old sucking her thumb (or trying to send a poisoned dart McCain's way); another of some dipshit in a three-piece suit wearing one of those hideously ugly elephant heads. But for the most part the delegates were just fucking bland!

Last month's Democratic convention had an assortment of hot babes sprinkled fucking everywhere, and they got plenty of air time too; the camera guys were hard-pressed to find any among the GOP last night. Ditto for black folks.

By the way--ABC Evening News showed undercover tapes of what remains of Lynrd Skynrd performing at a GOP party, with a gorgeous shot of Jenna Bush rockin' out with a drink in her hand. Beautiful! The reporter mentioned that they'd had to smuggle a camera in with someone who had an invitation, since the press was denied entrance. More of this please!